Let’s face the facts. As a man, you want to be killing it every single time during sex with your partner. You want to beat your own record and reach an all-time high, and you would love for your partner to come along on that ride with you.
We know you want that, and we want that for you; but again, some hard facts first. That’s probably not going to happen. Not every single time, at least. And it’s not necessarily about your abilities. Focusing on how good you want to perform during sex can create such anxiety that you end up underperforming. Worrying about staying long in bed, getting and maintaining erections, and satisfying your partner is one of the chief causes of poor performance. But it gets worse: that’s not all of them.
Causes of Poor Sexual Performance
Poor sexual performance, simply put, is the inability to have a sexual relationship the way you’d like and can handle it. It covers being able to have erections, stay long without ejaculating, and you and your partner are enjoying the experience. It’s essential to stress that everybody is done differently, and due to that difference, we can’t all have the same sexual experience.
The second point to note is that sexual activity of any kind involves some sort of collaboration between various systems of the body. Hormones and nerve signals must be on-topic; blood vessels need to be clear for good erections. Even the muscles are required to achieve orgasms (1), not to mention physical factors and emotions. So you see, it’s a complex process, and poor sexual performance can result from a break in transmission in any of the processes mentioned above.
How then do you stay on top of your game? One easy way is the simple matter of lifestyle choices. The reality is that most men may not have anything wrong with their ability to perform. They’re just making bad lifestyle choices that affect their sexual performance. If you find that you’re still having problems after reading this and adjusting, you should see a doctor.
Now, back to lifestyle. Do you know how it’s better to eat small meals spaced out throughout the day if you’re watching your calories than to have one large meal a day? Similarly, simple behaviors that you practice over time are what helps your sexual performance and not one huge aha action. Stressing about it definitely doesn’t help in any way.
Daily Behaviors that will Improve Your Sexual Performance
Do you drink a cup of coffee before you check your messages when you wake up each morning? Do you make an effort to include fruits and veggies in your diet? Do you work out regularly? Or at least engage in some form of frequent physical activity?
Then you’re halfway loaded up on those much-needed behaviors already.
Start your day with coffee
Now, we’re not saying down an entire pot of coffee, but 2-3 cups every day can go a long way to reducing erectile dysfunction and get your blood flowing. Erectile dysfunction is being unable to get an erection and keep it firm enough and long enough to have sexual intercourse.
Sweat it up
We can all agree that if you’re out of shape, you may not be able to last very long in bed. Sex is very physical, involves a lot of heart-pumping and racing so it’s a very good idea to have the heart running at its best. Getting just 30 minutes a day of sweat-breaking exercise can improve your cardiovascular fitness and your sexual health (2). Plus, a six-pack is not a bad idea. No pressure, though.
Fruits and vegetables are good for you
Yes, the song holds true even now as an adult. More so even. We’ve already mentioned how systems are intertwined for optimal sex, and sometimes, the state of your systems is a direct reflection of what you eat. So then it makes sense to eat right. High-fiber foods like fresh fruits and vegetables are always a good idea. You know this already, just do it.
Healthy fats only
In addition to adding more fiber to your diet, increasing your intake of omega-3 fatty acids may boost cardiovascular health and consequently improve sexual performance (2). Fatty fish like salmon, halibut, sardines, and herring are all rich in omega-3 fatty acids. Other foods that may boost your intake of omega-3s and other healthy fats include avocado, nuts, seeds and olive oil (2).
Lifestyle adjustments out of the way, let’s talk now about some other things you could do to improve your sexual performance as a man.
Some men think that penetration is the most important, most satisfying part of sex. We beg to differ. If you have erectile dysfunction or problems getting an erection, you will be relieved to hear that you do not need an erection to please your partner. As a matter of fact, the absence of an erection might push you to try out new things that your partner may end up loving.
Foreplay involves anything you and your partner do that’s not penetration. Think 50 shades. It includes touching, making out, kissing, hand stuff, et cetera.
Foreplay may be essential for women. A 2017 study found that very few women — around 18 percent — experience an orgasm from intercourse alone. According to the same findings, 36.6 percent of women said that clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse (3).
Use the start-stop technique
You can try the start-stop technique to help you last longer in bed. This means that every time you feel like you’re ejaculating, stop sexual activity. Take a deep breath, and then resume slowly. Then stop again to delay the ejaculation for as long as you want.
The best part about this method is that the body can be trained to hold off ejaculation and help you feel more in control and not ejaculating, even when things get intense.
Be creative and explore
Try something new. Do something you’ve never done before. Discover the new ‘firsts.’ Sexual pleasure thrives in an environment of passion and excitement. When you’ve had the same partner for a while, it’s imperative to shake things up now and then, so sex doesn’t become routine and feel like a chore.
Try a new position, invest in some toys, do it in a surreal place, all these can help. Another thing that can help is to do stuff with your partner outside of sex. You could hike together, or go skydiving, or learn a new sport. When you do new things together, the excitement of that can carry into the bedroom.
Watch your stress levels
We spoke a bit about this earlier. Let’s reiterate. Anxiety and stress can make it hard to get or maintain an erection. These feelings can also distract partners from sexual intimacy. If a man feels anxious about how he will perform sexually, he may feel less excited about sex and less engaged during it. You can manage your stress levels by:
- focusing more on physical sensations than sexual performance
- getting more sleep
- working to improve relationships
- spending more time on a favorite hobby
- going to therapy
Smoking cigarettes can lead to high blood pressure and other heart-related problems that cause erectile issues.
Smoking is also independently linked to erectile dysfunction. A 2015 analysis of 13 studies on smoking and sexual performance found that quitting smoking often improves sexual function and reduces erectile dysfunction (4).
Speaking freely on issues in you and your partner’s lives can significantly improve sexual experience especially when those issues have to do with sex.
Eliminate tension and worry, and talk with your partner. Working together on a solution can help both parties to feel less isolated and you, dear man, can be cured of any concern or guilt.
In addition, talk about what you each like and would love to have more of. If you know your partner loves something you do, it can boost your morale and doing more of it will improve your sexual performance.
Address relationship issues
Issues outside the bedroom can lead to poor sexual performance. For example, a man who feels that a partner criticizes them too much may feel anxious during sex, leading to less satisfying experiences.
Communication that focuses on feelings, not blames, can help partners to address relationship challenges. Some people also benefit from a relationship or sex therapy.
Regular exercise can improve mental health and reduce anxiety. Being physically active can reduce risk factors for heart conditions and improve sexual function and overall health (3).
Conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and diabetes can damage nerves and change the amount of blood that flows to the penis. This can make it more difficult to get or maintain erections.
In addition, some men find that regular exercise improves their mental health, reducing anxiety and helping them to feel better about their bodies.
Men can also benefit from exercising the muscles involved in arousal and ejaculation. The following exercise from Medical News Today may help:
- While urinating, stop the flow of urine. Repeat several times and learn to identify the muscles involved.
- When not urinating, try to contract these muscles for 10 seconds. Relax them for 10 seconds, then contract them for another 10 seconds.
- Repeat this cycle of contracting and relaxing 10 times each day.
Be in the moment
Mindfulness is the practice of becoming more aware in the present moment. It is a popular form of meditation for beginners, and it may improve sexual function.
Research published in 2017 suggests that mindfulness-based therapies can change negative attitudes about sex, improve sexual relationships, and help people to be more present during sexual activity (5).
Mindfulness and meditation can also help to manage stress unrelated to sexual activity. This can indirectly address sexual dysfunction and improve a man’s ability to focus in the moment.
Try an herbal remedy
We said try. Some herbal remedies may improve sexual satisfaction, especially if erectile dysfunction is a concern. In 2018, researchers published a review of 24 trials involving herbal remedies as treatments for erectile dysfunction (6).
Ginseng provided significant improvements, while a type of pine called Pinus pinaster and the maca root, or Lepidium meyenii, showed early positive benefits. Other herbs, namely saffron and Tribulus Terrestris, did not show clear results (6).
However, results of a small study published in 2017 indicated that Tribulus Terrestris may help with erectile dysfunction (7).
Before trying herbal remedies, speak with a doctor. Official organizations do not regulate herbal supplements, and they can have side effects or interact with medications. It is important to see a healthcare provider who is knowledgeable about supplements and who can monitor the progress of symptoms.
Talk to a doctor
A doctor may prescribe medication to help with sexual function. Several medications can help with sexual function, including popular drugs such as Viagra and Cialis.
Medication can be the most rapid treatment option for some men. If a man taking medication for erectile dysfunction also makes lifestyle changes and participates in therapy, he may eventually be able to stop taking the drugs.
It’s important to note that a handful of medications can affect sexual satisfaction, libido, and the ability to have or maintain erections (3).
Antidepressants, for example, may change the way a man ejaculates and reduce sexual desire. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, may be especially likely to cause sexual dysfunction (8).
If you take drugs that have sexual side effects, you should discuss changing your medication, stopping the treatment, or lowering the dosage with your doctor.
In conclusion, stressing about how to improve your sexual performance does nothing to improve your sexual performance. If anything, it makes things worse. There’s a lot of background that goes into sex, and when you’ve got those background taken care of, you’re good to go. If you still have to need to see a professional, don’t hesitate.
Lifestyle habits like drinking coffee, being physically involved, eating high fiber foods, and fruits and vegetables are some of the backgrounds we are talking about.
Setting the mood during foreplay, communicating what you want with your partner, being creative, watching your stress levels, staying present in the moment, trying out herbs, and doing other activities together are some other ways you can improve your sexual performance as a man.
Feel free to thank us later.