Foreplay has gained a reputation as the forerunner of a great sexual experience. It is the appetizer to the main course – sex. It is high time we stop thinking of foreplay as an old-school thing. If you want to have real steamy sexual intercourse with your partner, you should learn how to be a master of her body and not just the penis-in-vagina boring activity.
Studies have shown that only about 30% of women ever reach orgasm from penetrative sex of the penis. The old-school moves of deep kissing, clitoral stroking, and oral sex bring most women to the peak of pleasure. Armed with this knowledge, we want to encourage men to take foreplay way beyond casual kissing and flippant touches here and there. There is more to it.
If you don’t know your way around foreplay, thank your stars you are reading this because you’re about to get one of the most educative pieces that would greatly benefit your sex life.
But, first things first,
What is Foreplay?
In plain terms, foreplay refers to any sexual activity done before sexual intercourse. It can include kissing, massage, oral sex, cuddling, nibbling, rubbing, fingering, etc. It is a common understanding that foreplay is more important to women than guys (1). This is essentially true because most women rarely get to enjoy intercourse due to the anatomy of the female body.
A woman’s body needs time to ‘warm up’ and get in the mood. It also allows them to get to orgasm more easily. For the male, this is not quite the story. While foreplay is also good for the man to enjoy, a man’s anatomy is designed to always be in the mood, and reaching orgasm is very easy for him.
Therefore, a man must not only get to orgasm but must know how to bring his partner to orgasm, else one party is satisfied, and the other is not.
One key to satisfying your woman in foreplay is to have an in-depth knowledge of how her body is built, her anatomy, and how they can be stimulated to put her in the mood and reach orgasm just before you or at the same time with you. Note, you must bring her to orgasm before you get there, or the both of you must get there at the same time. It becomes difficult to get here after you have gotten there yourself.
Before we begin the journey of giving your woman an amazing time in foreplay, let’s first understand the anatomy of a woman’s body.
A peek into the female anatomy.
The female body is far more complicated than a male’s body. She’s not typically going to get all set and ready because you said so. When you pair that with the fact that women are more stimulated with touch and sight, you understand why foreplay is very important for women.
1. The clitoris
This is the central hub of pleasure in a woman’s body. While nerves in the vulva and vagina stimulate all kinds of sensation when touched and fingered, the clitoris remains the pleasure center where she gets the most sensation.
The clitoris is not as difficult to find as most guys would think. The inner labia or lips form a hood just over the clitoris, which looks like a small bud protruding outward slightly. The hood acts as a shield for the clitoris against direct stimulation.
The clitoris has over 15,000 nerve endings in one area, and direct contact can yield a very intense sensation, hence the clitoral hood (1).
2. The G-spot
The G-spot in females was discovered by a German gynecologist, Ernst Grafenberg, in 1950. He found a spot inside the vagina that, when stimulated, produced immense sexual pleasure (1).
There are claims that stimulating the G-spot could make a woman cum. It is said that the guy who found out the spot named it after himself: the Grafenberg spot, which is shortened to G-spot.
It is harder finding the G-spot than it is finding the clitoris. The spot lies in the inner upper wall of the vagina. It is slightly raised and slightly bumpy, and it is true that not every female can pinpoint exactly where their spot is located.
This mystery, however, can be solved by trial and error during foreplay.
While there are still other parts of the anatomy of a woman’s body to look out for, we don’t want to bore you with those details.
This article is about how to satisfy a woman after all, so why don’t we dive in right away?
10 Tips For Great Foreplay
One quick thing you should know is that making a great time out of your sex life is as much work as staying committed to a partner. It comes with a lot of work, but you need to shift your mind from seeing it as work to seeing it as fun. Have fun while learning; you always have time to improve.
If you want to know how to please her in bed and make her come for more, then you should read on.
1. Get the day ready for the night.
It is appalling how some of us men neglect the psychological aspect of a woman and think we can always get the best in bed. A woman is an emotional being, and if she’s not clear in her head, your sexual experience might be all messed up.
You don’t get to have poor communication or a disagreement in the daytime and expect her to get an orgasm at night. She would brood the whole day, and even if she doesn’t deny you her body at night, she will let you pump her as a matter of chore and not for the pleasure of it.
This is why you must always have a great start in the day. Settle all grievances and make sure to keep an active and open communication all day. When she is in great spirits all day, you can trust your sex to be mindblowing.
2. Prepare the room for sex.
Never forget as a guy that women get easily distracted from things, and having sex is not an exception. If there are things in the environment, they would surely get distracted. As a man, don’t have this tunnel-vision ability to zero in on what you’re doing and forget about everything else during sex.
If you’re inviting her to the bedroom, make sure to clear the cutter, pick up your laundry, fix the sheets, and tidy up the living space. Leave nothing out that would catch her eyes.
What about the stage? Dim the lights, use a candle, turn on some romantic or her favorite music. Turn off YouTube, and why don’t you keep your phone away or at least mute the ringer.
3. Undress her slowly, don’t rush
For the woman, the slow peeling away of the layers of her clothing is very seductive and arousing, so you should take your time with it. It’s all part of the ideal foreplay women like.
Yes, it can be very tough pacing yourself when all you crave is to devour her as your eyes already have. But pacing pays off. She will appreciate the anticipation that comes along with undressing her one piece of clothing at a time and the attention you give her body in the process (2).
Take off her top and stroke her shoulders and arms. Proceed to pull her pants slowly while kissing or touch her legs and thighs. Move your hand over her breasts, remove her bra, and caressing her breasts. Use your fingers to run the circumference of the nipples slowly.
You get the idea.
4. The clitoris and G-spot are your en route places, not your starting points
Haven’t you heard the “do not eat dessert before dinner” cliche?
The G-spot and clitoris are very important points to know in your partner’s body, but you should never begin foreplay here.
Remember, the idea is to get her warmed up and ready. Jumping straight into the clitoral stimulation or the G-spot doesn’t do the job if she is not at least a little aroused already.
5. Don’t forget to slow down and build anticipation.
Getting to tip four above, applying the breaks is something that can actually work wonders for your foreplay efforts (2). This is one of the very vital foreplay tips that can pose the biggest challenge to men.
It is true you’re excited; your partner is as well. But you want to build up to something incredible to the over-sexual experience, and that is to anticipate pleasure. All you have to do here to achieve this is to slow down your role. The human brain understands anticipatory and consummatory pleasure.
In sex, building up sexual tension and heightened states of pleasure all come about with anticipation.
6. Please don’t be afraid to ask questions.
You only have one goal: to arouse her; if you have difficulty knowing what she likes, just ask.
Women would generally appreciate straightforward questions; it shows her you are interested in pleasing her the way she likes it. This can be an all-time turn-on by itself.
Don’t talk juvenile. Let your questions carry some thought along. Let it point that you need guidance; then you can use the opportunity to squeeze in some dirty talk.
For instance, you could say/ask:
- Show me where you want me to put my hands.
- Do you like it when I rub your (mention the sexy body part) like this?
- Where should I use my mouth?
Even if she is shy, the process of her showing you things she likes without directly telling you that can be incredibly hot and sexy for both of you.
7. Touch, touch, and touch
Foreplay is all about touch, and if you must be a master at it, you must shy away from having a fill with your hands. If there is ever a place where you have to be generous with touching, this is it. As you touch, try sensual massaging.
Sensual massaging is a new world of pleasure for the woman. It makes a woman feel adored, nurtured, and loved. Getting her relaxed helps her lower her inhibitions after that (2).
A sure tip for your foreplay is to give her a slow sexy rubdown once in a while.
There are no rules. At times you have to forgo the old-school way and just make out. Do it on the couch, in the back of a cab, or pressed against the window (3).
9. Dry humping
No, this is not just for horny teens. There is sweet anticipation of two bare bodies rubbing against each other. Rub your penis against her breasts, thighs, and other erotic places. The sensation can be terrific for you both (3).
10. Oral sex
You can take things a bit further; remember, it’s flesh against flesh, and there are no rules. Start from her lips, and work your way over her body. Her earlobe, neck, shoulders down to her nipples. Don’t forget to pause intermittently as you apply the anticipation rule.
Take the voyage from her nipples to her stomach, then to her thighs, and finally, you can knock yourself out in her vagina.
Remember the lessons on the clitoris and G-spot, and don’t forget to ask her questions. At this junction, your tongue and fingers can come in agreement to do a good job.
After this, you can dive right into the main event, SEX.
If you would like to know more about the best sex positions for deep penetration, click here.
Foreplay for a woman is what gets her turned on before you two can go any further. Unlike men, women aren’t naturally ready to have sex. Getting her aroused physically may be very complicated.
Good foreplay can be very satisfying for her without intercourse. This is how their anatomy is designed. She may never want intercourse if she is not fully aroused.
The goal is to get her stimulated; once she is ready, your job as a man is done, you can now swing into action and take the pleasure to the climax.
Good sex is when both partners are sexually satisfied. This is what foreplay aims to achieve.