17 Types of Boners you can get – Suprised, right?

 

A boner is one of the most awkward yet amusing things that can happen to a man. It happens so randomly at times, and other times, it’s just your body reacting to a partner you are really into. It’s one of the many wonders of the human body. 

Boners happen when there’s a rush of blood to the male reproductive organ that leads to penile erection. It is a complex process that involves brain activity, state of mind, hormones, blood vessels, nerves, and certain bodily tissues (1). 

Having a boner doesn’t always mean you are turned on. There are several reasons a man could get a boner. As a man, you’ve had times you’d get a boner out of the blues, including one that isn’t as a result of any sexual thoughts; and often, you’ve caught yourself asking why?

Here are 17  different types of boners a man can get.

 

Types of Boners

 

1. One-Man Army:

This type of boner gets all the action alone. It is the type of boner that a man gets when he’s alone with porn and about to jerk off. 

 

2. The Morning Wood:

Almost every man has experienced morning wood at one time or the other. It’s an erection you wake up with, and many people admit it is the perfect opportunity for morning sex. Some argue that such a boner would also disappear as soon as you take a pee. 

 

3. The August Visitor:

This is one of those boners that just happens. It can be very embarrassing because it usually comes around in public. If you’ve ever had a boner in high school or a meeting and you couldn’t stand to answer a question or address an audience, then you can definitely relate to this one.

 

4. The Gym buddy:

All that activity gets every part of your body active, and when we say every part, we mean EVERY PART. The gym buddy boner stems from increased blood circulation, which is not limited to the penis. However, you don’t have to worry too much about this if you wear compression pants to the gym. 

 

5. The Sweatpants boner: 

You must have seen or heard ladies fawning over men wearing sweatpants around them and not just any sweatpants but grey sweatpants; this is the guy responsible for that.

We still have no idea how the color grey makes your “third-leg” pop better than other colors, but testimonies from women seem to affirm this. Or maybe it’s not the color but the sweatpants themselves, who knows?

 

6. Mr. Inappropriate : 

Ever gotten a boner in public? Especially when it’s not sex-related?. This hard-on is one that you don’t see coming. It is mostly caused by fleeting sexual and non-sexual thoughts that spark desire, leading to an erection even in public. 

 

7. The Pee boner:

Totally unrelated to sex but still valid regardless. This is a faux boner that appears when the bladder is filled and needs release. As soon as the bladder is emptied, this type of boner disappears alongside. 

 

8. The Ghost:

The ghost boner, as the name implies, is not realistic. It is a faux one that could happen because of how the underwear or pants a man has on packs his junk. It looks like it’s an actual boner, but it’s nothing. 

 

9. Whiskey Dick: 

The whiskey dick is also known as alcohol-related erectile dysfunction (2). It happens when you’ve had too many drinks within a period of time. While it’s called “Whiskey dick,” whiskey isn’t the only alcohol that has this effect on men. Red wine, tequila, rum, beer are also known to have the same effect.

 In this case, you are ready to get down, but you can’t get your penis to be fully erect enough for penetration. It is between flaccid and mid-erect. You can hardly get any action with this one, and it can be quite annoying. To complicate matters, there’s no way to determine how much alcohol it takes to get a man this way, as each man’s metabolism differs significantly from the other.

 

10. The Showman: 

Like the name, it is always around to put up a show. This is the erection a man gets when he is hot and bothered. It heralds every sexual event that a man is about to get involved in and can be a great indicator of how turned on a man is. 

Once this guy shows up, all you have to bother about is not messing up the rest of the event and satisfying your partner properly. 

 

11. The Night Guard: 

Depending on how intense this type of boner is, it can create a tent in your pants while you’re asleep, or if you sleep on your stomach, it makes you so uncomfortable that you’d have to lay on your back. It is estimated that a healthy man has 3 to 5 erections during a full night’s sleep, with each erection lasting 25 to 35 minutes (3).

 It is not clearly known why night boners are a thing, but some studies suggest that it is closely linked to the Rapid Eye Movement (REM) phenomenon. Luckily, there’s nothing to be worried about as experts say night-time erections are a sign that the male reproductive organ is in perfect condition. 

 

12. The 911: 

Relax, you are not exactly dialing 911 because of your penis, but you certainly need to see a doctor as soon as you can. The 911 boner indicates a serious medical complication and is typically characterized by an erection that lasts longer than four hours and won’t go away. 

It might and might not be painful and very inconvenient, which is why you need a doctor’s attention as soon as possible.

 

13. The Buddy Boner: 

Boners of this kind don’t leave easily. They tend to feel at home for too long and often don’t go without masturbation. 

 

14. The Marathoner: 

Ever noticed how you get another erection immediately after a round of sex. With this type of boner, you won’t be done getting frisky in a while. It stays till the whole show is wrapped up and you tap out. 

 

15. The Boner of Boners: 

This is the legend of boners, the knight in shining armor of boners. It tends to be more erect and stiffer than the regular boners a man can get. It is distinctive in size and quality and can be considered the peak of a man’s erection. 

 

16. The “A mark in the Past” Boner :

This type of boner accompanies memories and is usually linked to a man’s past sexual encounters. It would usually show up in one of those times where you’re just chilling, then you remember a sexcapade you had in the past, you smile to yourself, and your little guy smiles in his way too. 

 

17. The “I don’t read the room” boner: 

This is the most awkward of all boners. Imagine you’re having a chat with your mom, boss, or your granny, and you get a growing erection. Yes, this is that type of erection. 

 

 

References: 

  1. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a31920/kinds-of-boners-guys-get/ 
  2. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/whiskey-dick#clinical-term 
  3. https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/five-penis-facts/